May 2013
201 posts
newpope: rapidashery: newpope: my alarm is going off upstairs i dont want to have to go up the stairs but its obnoxious decisions looks like youve gotten yourself into an…alarming situation this is not the time for puns
May 19th
5,749 notes
teen pregnancy is more acceptable than being gay and that’s really sad
May 19th
292,926 notes
marieleafbread: the parents from Easy A are essentially what’ll happen when people from tumblr start procreating
May 19th
132,073 notes
May 19th
87,255 notes
May 19th
158,640 notes
laugh-addict: take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
May 18th
430,025 notes
May 18th
42,853 notes
May 18th
11 notes
May 18th
1,393 notes
May 18th
41,666 notes
whimsicalspecks: akitron: buttlarious: tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr  #I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr
May 18th
129,722 notes
poopflow: ah yes i have finally found it the g spot
May 18th
51,526 notes
thewonderlessyears: thewonderlessyears: the girl sitting next to me in class is wearing the same shirt as me in a different colour and we keep awkwardly looking at each other like do I say something or just sit here help i said ‘nice shirt’ and she said ‘better than yours’ i’m done
May 18th
73,019 notes
tennants-companion: so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
May 18th
79,903 notes
May 18th
582 notes
May 18th
16,638 notes
jpierrepontcriss: my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
May 18th
40,443 notes
May 18th
980 notes
waitinforthebus: what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate 
May 18th
82,482 notes
“I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at...”
– Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers (via adderalldust) (via fl0at-on-anyway)
May 18th
3,630 notes
coelasquid: Once I set a computer’s language settings to Canadian to see if it would stop telling me I was spelling colour wrong and all it did was make it so every time I tried to use a question mark I got an é instead.
May 18th
112 notes
Me: There was an earthquake this morning and we slept through it.
Boyfriend: No I woke up, but I thought I had just farted and so I went back to bed.
May 17th
5 notes
May 17th
554 notes
May 17th
682 notes
May 17th
732 notes
May 17th
36 notes
stayyyyoungg: has anyone ever realized that drinking water is like taking a shower on the inside of your body. ive spent way to much time on tumblr today.
May 17th
21,263 notes
May 17th
21,440 notes
May 17th
13,572 notes
May 17th
6,865 notes
the-lonely-scottish-guy: ‘stop being overdramatic’ they say ‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
May 17th
62,697 notes
alxesi: will.i.pm
May 17th
21,829 notes
adventuresonpaper: I’ll come back for you i whisper as i caress the books i can’t afford
May 16th
63,023 notes
May 16th
671 notes
dont ask me if im being sarcastic because most of the time i dont even know
May 16th
7,644 notes
windydude: it does not rain in south east asia, it singapours
May 16th
23,610 notes
May 16th
602 notes
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked.  Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want.  If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back!  It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
May 16th
86,023 notes
lauren-sevenfxld: godheadcomplex: if i ever tell you that something is my favorite song dont listen to me im a fucking liar i have more favorite songs than there are babies in china this is 10000000% accurate
May 16th
110,399 notes
wizardsandhijack: hospitalf0rsouls: Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God… did Mary have a little lamb? you broke the world
May 16th
109,950 notes
zubat: I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what is wrong with your car’s engine but if you open and close the hood like this, it looks like the car is talking
May 16th
82,582 notes
May 16th
34,800 notes
“high school will be the best four years of your life” “college is so much better”
May 16th
74,062 notes
the-barricade-girl: oh sweet jesus oh sour jesus oh BBQ jesus oh cool ranch jesus oh doritos locos tacos jesus
May 16th
55,490 notes
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: 3-2-1queer: When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god” YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
May 16th
124,802 notes
When I've had a few drinks & see someone really...
whatshouldwecallme:
May 16th
1,554 notes
May 16th
64,535 notes
tumblr is like egypt nobody understands us and we worship cats
May 16th
200,136 notes
inbox: Like a good neighbor, I do not care
May 15th
29,022 notes
May 15th
735 notes